Old Ass Poetry 2000

September 2000

Goodbye

standing on my

back stoop

my shadow

shaped by the

oil lamp

I feel like an ancient woman

life given to me again

the wine

throbbing

a car passes,

the thrum of electric wires

an airplane overhead.

beyond it the stars

I look toward myself

the light of the flame

offshoots tendrils

almost reaching me

my body sways

to their rhythm

I wonder if everyone

has that light

stretching to them

So much has happened here

the neighbors house

is dark and quiet

a light switches off two doors down

what a wonder

this home has been

yet easy to leave behind

It showed me safe

it owes me nothing

October 2000

From Airport to Train

I hand my ticket to the

Shuttle driver

Who takes his sweet time

Stuffing it

Into his container

I should not have run

And the businessman can stop

glancing at his watch

Passengers trickle on

Standing room only

Our mass transit faces

avoid eye contact

We creep forward

a covered wagon

swaying down the street

At the first stop light the driver brakes hard

inches ahead and brakes hard again

And again

We lurch forward

Punchbag clowns

The ones standing

Dig in their toes and grip shiny rails

Clinging vigilantly to their personal space

Is he doing it on purpose

Laughing to himself

His thankless job

With its small payoffs

Above my neighbor’s head it says

Today your driver is CHARLES

I notice that

CHARLES is an interchangeable sign

From our insulated distance

We are pegs in slots

No more worthy of a smooth ride

Than is Charles of a name

October 2000

The Backyard at Orchard Avenue

Faces lit by ramshackle candles

cigarettes’ smoky perfume

circles laughter

above the crisscross of conversation

I look to the west

palm trees in cheerleader formation

to shout witness

of those come and gone

Their once familiar hands

wore the doorjamb soft

I want to speak of the missing

of fate’s persnickety game

Our motions

as infinite and restricted

as chess pieces

I want to speak of gratitude

my deepest heart

feeling this moment

knowing there will be a tomorrow

when we are as far flung

as tonight we are nestled

in familial comfort

Instead I look away

a lump in my throat

a round of laughter lifts its arms to the night

over head a jet’s red taillights

disappear into a star

October 17, 2000

The Secret

I am the most humble person

Deft at deflecting

The sincerest compliment

I offer before being asked

To perform the most banal favor

And require no thanks

I clean the pubic hairs

Out of my tub

Left from my friend’s friend’s brother

Who I let stay at my place for a week

I help in the kitchen

I save the seat

And watch the bags

I hold the baby at the wedding

While the parents dance

I am the constant friend

The model employee

The dutiful daughter

The consummate lover

And inside

The slot creaks open

In the lead door that

Battens down my greedy, proud heart

Whose demonic accountant

Peers out

checking off who notices